Since the pandemic began, more couples are deciding to have a micro wedding to comply with CDC safety guidelines. A micro wedding is defined as a wedding with 20 or fewer guests, but with a full vendor list just like a larger wedding would have. Micro weddings or “minimonies” are considered to be the silver lining during these challenging times because they provide many ways to have a more personalized and intimate celebration. The hard part is reducing your list from 100 or more guests down to fewer than 20. Here are some tips on how to limit a wedding guest list. Although you hate to exclude anyone, try and focus on the fact that in the end, you get to share your wedding with your closest family and friends.
1. Limit your wedding guest list by first organizing everyone into circles
Obviously, your wedding party (Maid of Honor, Best Man, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, and officiating clergy or civil person) will make up your first circle. If you’ve had to postpone your wedding, make sure everyone is still available for your new date. Then make other circle groups of family and closest friends.
2. Then figure out the maximum number of guests you’re going to have and then start making your cuts within each circle
This is where it gets down to the nitty-gritty. Ask yourself who were the first people that came to your mind the moment you got engaged and could not wait to tell them the exciting news. Check with them to see if they are available to attend. Depending on the age of certain family members, you might want to consider whether it’s safe for them to attend. It might not be easy for others to travel right now either and they might appreciate not having to do so. If you still feel like your circles are too big, ask yourself these hard and honest questions:
- Could you still enjoy your wedding if that person was not there?
- Does this person get on your nerves after a while, especially after a couple of drinks?
- Do you regularly talk to this person or are you holding on to the past when you were closer?
- Does this person really know who you are or do you only comment on each other’s social media posts?
- Is there pressure to invite this person?
- Are you inviting them because they invited you to their wedding?
- Do they live out of the country presenting further safety risks?
- Will they be able to adhere to your safety guidelines such as quarantining beforehand?
- Is there a way you can invite them to come alone without their spouse or another person?
3. Add Livestreaming
One way to ease the pain of omitting people is to Livestream your ceremony and reception so they can feel like they are still a part of your special day. Zoom, GoogleHangouts, and Skype make it very easy to offer this option. Take it a step further by asking virtual guests for song requests or to give a speech. They will be really honored and your photographer can grab photos of them on camera.
4. Send a small gift
Consider sending a picture frame with a custom die-cut matte that has your names and wedding date printed on it. Some couples create a time capsule and send pretty note cards to people they can’t invite and ask them to write their wishes to them for the future. If there is someone extra special to you or your spouse, you might send them a small bouquet matching yours.
5. Plan a future celebration
If you’ve had to reschedule your wedding to a micro wedding and have had to “uninvite” certain people, a way to make things a little better is to let them know that you are planning to host a larger wedding reception at a later date. Imagine how fun it would be if you did that on your first anniversary and got to celebrate that milestone with all your loved ones!
